Broken people are beautiful. There is something about
vulnerability, suffering and pain that the human heart responds to
instinctively. We become sympathetic,
tender, warm and protective towards those whose wounds show through their
skin. It doesn’t matter whether these
wounds are physical, psychological or spiritual. Brokenness in all its forms cries out to be
healed. Our wounds speak louder than our
words ever could. – Bergin & Fitzgerald
The very word broken speaks to us of a need for healing; “I’m
OK” just can’t be enough. What steps
can be taken to begin to facilitate healing when I don’t want to talk about it?
1. I
need to consciously step out of the darkness within me as denying feelings is not a
legitimate coping mechanism. Journaling is an excellent way of getting our
feelings out.
2. I
need to recognise and name my losses within my circumstances. Journal losses.
3. It
is imperative that I unlock the trapdoor of guilt and shame. Shame is an unhealthy emotion telling me I am
not a worthwhile person; guilt is a healthy emotion telling me I have stepped
outside of my boundaries. I must choose not to live under shame and learn once
more to live under healthy boundaries.
4. Take
the lid off my anger; I will not heal unless I express my anger in a
constructive way so that I do not explode.
The underlying pain can then be dealt with.
5. I
should not surrender to my depression but work through it.
6. I
should strive to start a journey towards acceptance of what has happened and
prepare myself to forgive. (see previous post on "unpacking forgiveness")
What insight will help me through my healing process; how
do we truly “know” ourselves? How do we accept ourselves? How do we become a
deep person?
We are on a journey of self discovery....join me as we
delve into our lives.
We all have 4 quadrants in our lives:
- An open/free quadrant (Known Self)
A part of myself I am willing to share openly with other
people. I am able to share freely what I am happy for others to know about me.
- A
blind quadrant (Blind Self)
These are parts of my personality I have yet to become
aware of. They can be negative or positive; so often we see ourselves in a less
than favourable light. In other areas we over inflate our potential.
We need to ask significant others to share these traits
with us so that we can know ourselves better.
- A hidden quadrant (Hidden Self)
A part of myself I hide from the world; I acknowledge
these traits but have reasons for wishing to keep others from knowing.
There is a growth opportunity here as I become more
comfortable with myself, I can decide to share more of myself with significant
others.
- An
unknown quadrant (Unknown Self)
There is potential within all of us; there is a part of
me which no one knows, not even myself.
Only God knows me fully as He knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Here I find another growth opportunity to self
discover. As I experience new things,
potential can be unleashed into a “known quadrant”. Other’s observations can
also help in uncovering my hidden potential as I surrender to self and shared
discovery.
We need to seek and discover these hidden and blind
quadrants in the present day so that we begin to unleash hidden potential.
Let us ask God to shed light into the dark corners of our
soul.
Carl Jung believed that it is the privilege of a lifetime
to become who you truly are. He went on to state that until you make the
unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
We have all been ‘blindsided’ at times by our own response
in a given situation.
"As no one else can know how we perceive, we are
the best experts on ourselves." – Carl Rogers
So I want to tell you to seek truth, and the truth
will set you free. The truth
does set us free! Keep going!
Margs
REFERENCES
Freed & Salazar. A
Season to Heal, 1993
Johari Window Model
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