The streets and the malls are filled with lights, holiday
melodies and glittery ornaments. We are overwhelmed by special events and
celebrations and an excess of food and drink. Outwardly the holiday whirl is smiles
and excitement, but if we look inside of ourselves what is the reality?
Rituals and festivity serve an important psychological
purpose. Our holidays are not just outdated rituals from a less sophisticated
time or simply a time for escape, greediness or getting together with those
we love. The holidays take us from one period of our lives to the next and psychologically
we are confronted with spiritual and philosophical truths and ideals.
The holidays are a time of personal journey and
affirmation of meaning. We can pretend this is not so but many changes are made
and many decisions are taken at this time. The reflection and internal
processing that goes on during the holidays is serious and bittersweet no
matter what our circumstances.
Something deep within reacts to this time of year whether
we wish it or not therefore let us learn skills that we can incorporate to
direct our thinking patterns this year end in order to face the challenges of a new year.
Have you ever faced a challenge in your life that initially
seemed like a negative event but the outcome brought positive gains that caused you to
look back on the event as something good? These situations all involve a development
that psychologists refer to as 'reframing'. Reframing is a way of changing the
way we look at something and therefore changing our experience of it.
Steps towards reframing
A. Notice our thoughts –
it seems so obvious but many of us don’t want to think about certain things and
we just don’t allow ourselves that privilege.
Take notice of our thoughts.
B.
Challenge
our thoughts - Take Every Thought Captive (2 Corinthians
10:5). Put negative thoughts out of our minds and replace them…
C. Replace negative or destructive thoughts
with more positive insight – it is our responsibility to do this,
no one else can do it for us. We can choose to stay miserable or change
direction. Seek answers either through relationship or through research.
Positive reframing means trying to reassess things in a
positive light and it is a powerful way to transform our thinking. Positive reframing does not change the
situation (for we have learned that we cannot change another’s actions) but it can
certainly reduce damage and put things into a healthier perspective.
It is being realistic
about what is going on and then taking charge of what we can control
i.e. our own response. It does not mean glossing over the negative and
pretending it does not exist.
We have all seen ‘learned
helplessness’ in people around us i.e. people who sneer at the possibility of
anything getting better. Learned helplessness has become endemic in society (more
particularly in South African society at this time) and it is the source of
much unhappiness. We are never helpless. Optimism can be learned and it impacts
our personal well-being.
We all need hope and
vision.
A Proverb of Solomon identifies
this for us:
“Without vision,
people shed all restraint” – Proverbs 29:18.
Within each of us is
a drive to seek truth…let us come through this holiday period having grown in
all areas of our lives; physically (healthier not bigger!), mentally (having
spent time in meaningful conversation and reading), spiritually (asking
ourselves...who am I right now and what hope and purpose do I have moving into a
new year?) and psychologically (having learned new skills to deal with
ourselves and others).
When we take a picture
off the wall, it is dusty. This holiday
season is a great opportunity to reframe your ‘life picture’; so take a deep
breath, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again J
XXxxxxxxxxx Margs
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