3 WISE MEN VS 3 FOOLS

An Axiom of Truth

At a time of year when we remember 3 of the Wisest Men of their time who having studied the mysteries of life and astronomy, found a bright star and despite their culture and religion, followed that star that led them to the King of all Kings, Jesus.

I am reminded of 3 unwise men from my own life story who having no commitment to seeking wisdom, got together and sought a path to wealth and power.

The 3 wise men found the Christ child humble in a stable; gave gifts which symbolised Christ's identity and mission: gold for a King, incense for God, and myrrh symbolising a death to be borne. They worshipped Him!

The 3 unwise men found wealth but alas have 'given little' in comparison to its abundance and worship themselves and the idols of sex, money and power.

The 3 wise men heard and obeyed the voice of God warning them which way to go, in doing so they saved the Christ child from an evil and wicked King Herod who aimed to destroy Him.

The 3 unwise men now renowned as fools, have blocked out the voice of God and have followed their own path.  All 3 have destroyed their families of origin and have broken the hearts of those nearest and dearest to them.

The 3 wise men returned home wise and full of peace and respected throughout history.

The 3 fools have no peace; these are men who build a 'realm of dominance' in their own honour and for their selfish gain but the walls will crumble and the cry will ring out. 'No peace! and most certainly 'No respect'!

When we seek God with sincere determination, we will find him. He is not hiding from us, but wants to have an intimate relationship with each of us.

Grief is all we have left when observing such selfish lives.
The fool says in his heart, "I have no need for God."

At year end so many women and children struggle through grief from loss. I have walked this road too.....

"She held her grief behind her eyes like an ocean & when she leaned forward into the day it spilled onto the floor & she wiped at it quickly with her foot & pretended no one had seen." -Brian Andreas

I see and know your grief.


With much love at this time.

Xxxxx Margs

TAKE OUT THOSE PRUNING SHEARS - A TIME TO PRUNE.

 

 



 Two quotes from “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”

Sonny: Everything will be all right in the end... if it's not all right then it's not yet the end.

Evelyn: Nothing here has worked out quite as I expected.

Muriel: Most things don't. But sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff.

I think many of us love to adopt this nonchalant way of life, but I believe that nothing will change if we are not prepared to change.

Nothing grows to fruition without pruning. Plants or humans.
Gardeners prune a rose bush for three reasons:

      I.          The bush produces more buds than it can sustain and some good ones have to go so the best ones can have the resources of the bush.

Let the good blossom!

    II.          There are some branches and buds that are sick and not going to get well.

Cut these things back in your life, give them less time and effort.

  III.          There are some that are already dead and are taking up space.

Chop those off!

-        Henry Cloud

Every good gardener I’ve met has the following qualities: curiosity, tenacity, creativity and passion. God is the Great Gardener thus let Him work in your life! 

There are relationships that really just stop all growth and need attending, so take out those shears.  

Pruning is not a negative experience; it holds within its power hope, vision and care.  When we decide to make changes in our lives, we can do so with the same creativity as stated above.  Many of us have become apathetic in our relationships, leaving problems to chance, neglect and dissolution. We often feel down and ask why we continue to have the same problems with the same person? 

GOOD QUESTIONS TO ASK OURSELVES

What reason, other than the fact that I want this relationship to work, do I have for believing that tomorrow is going to be different from today? Do I want to be having these same negative interactions 6 months or a year from now?

When you see that you need to let go of something or someone, what happens inside? What fears emerge? How paralysing are they? What can you do to tackle them?

If you are holding on to hope, what is the basis for that? Is it rational and objective? Or is it just a defence against facing the issue?

Endings are a part of life, and we are essentially wired to be able to complete them. It is because of our own trauma and developmental failures as well as other reasons that we shy away from taking the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth. Let God deal with you so that you can deal well with others.

Imbalance in life and relationships often comes from two sources.

1.     You have too much to do. Too many meetings, too many relationships, too many tasks pull you in too many directions.

2.     A few big problems (usually human in nature) are taking up lots of your time and energy (or at least more than their fair share) than the rest of the people and projects.

 

God believes in pruning, Jesus said,” I am the True Vine and my Father is the gardener......every branch that bears fruit He prunes.” John 15

So prune wisely and begin the New Year with a New Perspective.

"The wise person adjusts to the truth.  The foolish person adjusts the truth so that he has to do nothing different." (P133)

Blessings

Margsxx

Resources:

Cloud, H PhD: Necessary Endings, 2010.

RECHARGE, REFRAME AND REDIRECT!

 

 



The streets and the malls are filled with lights, holiday melodies and glittery ornaments. We are overwhelmed by special events and celebrations and an excess of food and drink. Outwardly the holiday whirl is smiles and excitement, but if we look inside of ourselves what is the reality?

Rituals and festivity serve an important psychological purpose. Our holidays are not just outdated rituals from a less sophisticated time or simply a time for escape, greediness or getting together with those we love. The holidays take us from one period of our lives to the next and psychologically we are confronted with spiritual and philosophical truths and ideals.

The holidays are a time of personal journey and affirmation of meaning. We can pretend this is not so but many changes are made and many decisions are taken at this time. The reflection and internal processing that goes on during the holidays is serious and bittersweet no matter what our circumstances.

Something deep within reacts to this time of year whether we wish it or not therefore let us learn skills that we can incorporate to direct our thinking patterns this year end in order to face the challenges of a new year.  

                            

Have you ever faced a challenge in your life that initially seemed like a negative event but the outcome brought positive gains that caused you to look back on the event as something good? These situations all involve a development that psychologists refer to as 'reframing'. Reframing is a way of changing the way we look at something and therefore changing our experience of it.

 Steps towards reframing                                

A.    Notice our thoughts – it seems so obvious but many of us don’t want to think about certain things and we just don’t allow ourselves that privilege.  Take notice of our thoughts.

B.    Challenge our thoughts - Take Every Thought Captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). Put negative thoughts out of our minds and replace them…

C.    Replace negative or destructive thoughts with more positive insight – it is our responsibility to do this, no one else can do it for us. We can choose to stay miserable or change direction. Seek answers either through relationship or through research.

Positive reframing means trying to reassess things in a positive light and it is a powerful way to transform our thinking. Positive reframing does not change the situation (for we have learned that we cannot change another’s actions) but it can certainly reduce damage and put things into a healthier perspective.

It is being realistic about what is going on and then taking charge of what we can control i.e. our own response. It does not mean glossing over the negative and pretending it does not exist.

We have all seen ‘learned helplessness’ in people around us i.e. people who sneer at the possibility of anything getting better. Learned helplessness has become endemic in society (more particularly in South African society at this time) and it is the source of much unhappiness. We are never helpless. Optimism can be learned and it impacts our personal well-being.

We all need hope and vision. 

A Proverb of Solomon identifies this for us:

“Without vision, people shed all restraint” – Proverbs 29:18.  

Within each of us is a drive to seek truth…let us come through this holiday period having grown in all areas of our lives; physically (healthier not bigger!), mentally (having spent time in meaningful conversation and reading), spiritually (asking ourselves...who am I right now and what hope and purpose do I have moving into a new year?) and psychologically (having learned new skills to deal with ourselves and others).

When we take a picture off the wall, it is dusty.  This holiday season is a great opportunity to reframe your ‘life picture’; so take a deep breath, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again J   

 

XXxxxxxxxxx Margs