I came across this life story today and it hit a note within me. My heart really longs for those of us who call ourselves Christ- followers to demonstrate it. This is not to bring condemnation on Christians but awareness that there are hurting people looking to us for help. Let's change the face of our churches by changing our own face. I want to be more aware of the lonely who walk into a meeting, just wanting someone to care and not judge!
This is the story:
"I remember as if it was yesterday.
I wanted nothing to do with Christianity and the church and their Jesus.
And I had a long list of reasons but they made it abundantly clear that there was a series of events I
had to go through before He would ever be mine.
It seemed as though I was living in the land of "you have sinned and you are going to burn in hell" - where I belonged mind you, and all of the church ladies were living life high on the hog by way of the front row and never having sex before their wedding night.
I can remember pulling into church parking lots again and again and sitting there bawling my eyes out as I watched married couple after married couple walk inside the holy doors of we have it all together -sorry about your luck.
I never had the courage to actually go inside.
I never had the courage to actually go inside.
Then finally, I can remember it taking everything I had to walk in those dreaded doors one Sunday morning with my baby girl in my arms. I was an unwed single mama raising a baby on about $6.00 an hour and no support of any kind. I left the trailer that morning and looked at the gift that I didn't deserve and told her we were going to give this Jesus a try. I cried the entire way there and wondered if I looked nice enough, good enough, clean enough, churchy-enough.
I wondered if all of the perfect people would be able to see me past the missing wedding ring and the beautiful baby girl on my hip.
I wondered if they would embrace me. Accept me. Allow me in- in spite of my circumstances and in spite of my mistakes.
I'm sorry to share that I walked into a sea of judgement and condemnation during that season of my life.
And unfortunately it caused me to leave the church for nearly a decade.
Because when you are struggling with the lie that is "there is no way that a holy God could love a girl like me." And you are hanging on by a thread because life has just been too much....
Every moment counts.
The way you are received and welcomed or not.
The way the caregivers receive your child with kindness or not.
The way a seat is made available for you or not.
The way you are looked down upon, questioned or interrogated by church members or hopefully not.
The way someone took the time to speak with you or not.
The way you are shamed and condemned or accepted and loved.
All of those things and so much more are some of the reasons that people will give church and ultimately Jesus another chance.
But one of the biggest reasons I walked away was this. I didn't want what they had.
They made it loud and clear to me what they were against.
But they failed to demonstrate what they were for."
Written by Sibi pearlsandgrace.blogspot.com
Thank you , Sibi, for being so courageous in stating what many others have gone through.
It makes me want to change, I don't know about you!
Xxxxx Margs
